One, two, a-one, two

Just who the hell do you think you are?
I pay the light bill in this bar
Hey, what you mean you gonna cut me off?
Just shut up and give me that beer I bought

I got no idea who took my keys
Who put this lipstick on my cheek?
I know I might come on whiskey-back
You probably thinkin' I'm three sheets to the wind

But I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Don't pay no mind to this mountain of crushed up cans
No, I can't say my CBAs
But I can sing every song that jukebox plays

And I know I can't stand or sit
But if I was hammered good, I'd dance like this
Might have a cold one in each hand
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Funny, to be honest, I had me a few
And I might have danced with a cowgirl or two
I might have left my left boot at the bar
You might have seen me layin' out in the yard

But I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Don't pay no mind to this mountain of crushed up cans
No, I can't say my CBAs
But I can sing you every song that jukebox plays

And I know I can't stand or sit
But if I was hammered good, I'd dance like this
Might have a cold one in each hand
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Well, I might have started drinking at noon
But this honky-tonk don't close 'til two

And I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Don't pay no mind to this mountain of crushed up cans
No, I can't say my CBAs
But I can sing you every song that jukebox plays

And I know I can't stand for shit
But if I was wasted, could I dance like this?
Might have a cold one in each hand
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Might have a cold one in all three hands
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am

May not be good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was