The Worst Brats in Town

Good day, miss, lookin' pretty
Lookin' lonely, looks like you could use a child
Or two, or three for a very modest fee
If by chance you're searchin' for an urchin
I gotcha merchandise right here

But I'll be clear, tell you straight, they're not great
And they don't appreciate
They're possibly the worst brats in town

And me, I'm just a woman with needs of me own
Who'd like to do some misdeeds of me own
With a certain someone
But though I am a woman who's never enjoyed
That thing what as a mother gets you employed
Somehow I seem to have become one

And I'm surrounded by these lambs
Little tykes, girls with dolls
Little boys with little balls
How I love these darling tots, precious imps, take a glimpse

Truth is I got lots and lots, oh sure, this one here may have some lice
This one plays dice, this one eats mice
Caught him twice, thrice
Truth is they're not very nice, not at all worth the price
So if you take my advice, you'll stay away from the worst brats in town